Short Stories from Adventureland

I have been trying to perfect this move for a hundred years and...

Sun, 16 Jun 2013 20:18:27 -0400

I have been trying to perfect this move for a hundred years and the best I can do is blow spit straight up my nose.

Hi I'm John Johnson

Tue, 11 Jun 2013 17:38:52 -0400

you might remember me from such films as I come over uninvited and I curse loudly like a sailor during your in-between work nap.

Time-lining a story can be reeaaaal tedious. Never has the...

Wed, 05 Jun 2013 00:37:31 -0400

Time-lining a story can be reeaaaal tedious. Never has the phrase “a labor of love” been more appropriate. #writing #Proxama

"The young folks that are coming into each of your services are anywhere from 17 to 22 or 23. Gee..."

Tue, 04 Jun 2013 21:02:37 -0400

“The young folks that are coming into each of your services are anywhere from 17 to 22 or 23. Gee whiz, the hormone level created by nature sets in place the possibility for these types of things to occur. So we’ve got to be very careful how we address it on our side.”

- GOP Senator Saxby Chambliss blames the military sexual assault epidemic on “hormones.” (via mediaite)

Ugh.

(via newsweek)

- Sexual assault, and let’s face it what we’re really talking about here more often than not is rape, has historically been a “spoil” of war. It is a way for the aggressor to dominate and demoralize it’s victim leaving the memory to tear away at every fiber of their being until they cope with it in one way or another. Maybe it’s through drugs, maybe it’s through booze, maybe it’s by withdrawing from everyone you know and maybe, just maybe it is through ending the misery and committing suicide.

Even sexual assault on the civilian level is a form of domination and is very rarely bread from pure uncontrollable sexual desire. So for someone to say “well gee wiz the whole reason this mess got started in the first place is ‘cuz we got a whole bunch of hormones bumpin’ up against another” is absolutely ludicrous. Sexual assault is complete and utter domination over your enemy not some bi-product of hormonal angst.

So if sexual assault is a “spoil” of war then it would seem to me that we are at war with ourselves and if this continues to go unpunished it is a war we will never win.

...

Sun, 02 Jun 2013 03:20:54 -0400

Just wiped millions of people off the face of the earth. Damn it feels good to be a gangster.

...

Sun, 19 May 2013 22:40:51 -0400

While taking a lovely stroll down the beach I was run off the sidewalk by an older gent pushing a stroller with his cocker spaniel looking pretty unimpressed.

...

Sun, 19 May 2013 00:13:28 -0400

To the stout lady asking about the “Will Call line”: It is in fact a real line. No air quotes required.

...

Mon, 13 May 2013 21:41:00 -0400

Drifting in a salt water grave the waves push me back and forth, rocking me gently into submission with their eb and flow. I yearn for land, for a place where I can be warm and dry. It is always in my sight if still ever so slightly out of reach.

...

Sat, 11 May 2013 13:25:17 -0400

I sat in a room last night like I was on trial. I sat there and I watched and I listened to a grown woman lie about things I had said infront to those with the power. I sat there patiently listening to all that she was saying adding each piece of vitriol to my rolodex of reasons why I wouldn’t get to know her; why I wouldn’t let her in. And after all was said and done, after she was done spouting her lies about how mean and cruel I was, she hugged me. It was in that moment of embrasse that I promised to show her just how cruel I could be.

...

Tue, 30 Apr 2013 12:01:00 -0400

Must figure out a way to petition Josh Whedon on how to become the Scarlet Witch in Avengers 2 …

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Mon, 29 Apr 2013 04:00:35 -0400

You are supposed to be my hero; my knight in shining armor. Yet instead of a sword you use your words to cut so deeply. The cruelest part is that it is not my enemies you slay it is me; with every word in every way.

Who couldn’t use a little Boba in their life?

Sat, 27 Apr 2013 23:33:35 -0400

Who couldn’t use a little Boba in their life?

It’s Star Wars night at The Triple Door!! #onemanstarwars...

Sat, 27 Apr 2013 20:42:18 -0400

It’s Star Wars night at The Triple Door!! #onemanstarwars #thetripledoor #work

Looks like things are about to get interesting

Fri, 26 Apr 2013 19:30:31 -0400

Looks like things are about to get interesting

...

Thu, 25 Apr 2013 04:05:28 -0400

I prowl the streets; a Daywalker in human’s clothing. There is no life or warmth to be had from my touch; just the cold chill of an impending death. Yet, in that moment when the day is done and I lay down to rest the night brings me to life with atomic heat radiating throughout my body. Searing away the Daywalker’s skin I succumb to my dreams and let them carry me off to a new life.

...

Fri, 19 Apr 2013 15:41:00 -0400

The world is on fire. Sizzling. Burning up under the pressure of desperate cries for freedom, peace, equality in the midst of those who want to watch us smolder. We have to ask ourselves is this the breaking point? Is this the moment when we shed our sheep skin to reveal the wolf that lives beneath?

...

Thu, 18 Apr 2013 06:00:40 -0400

I sit around and wait for you to realize that I am the one. I weather the glances that deem me pathetic and the eyes that shower me with shame. My love for you means more than all that and I desperately wish you felt the same.

...

Tue, 16 Apr 2013 17:35:00 -0400

It’s Vampire Cycle and that means it’s time for the monthly battle royale that is the struggle between wanting to eat nothing but pizza and burgers vs. knowing I should proooobably throw a salad or something green in the mix.

luke-pearson: My cover for The New Yorker’s Journeys issue I...

Mon, 15 Apr 2013 14:44:35 -0400

luke-pearson:

My cover for The New Yorker’s Journeys issue

I love that The New Yorker has stuck to art deco or art deco inspired covers for their issues. I think they are beautiful and make me happy that publications who value art inside and out are still roaming the planet.

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Sat, 13 Apr 2013 03:05:31 -0400

Many people go through Life in fear of the day when Death will come to greet them. They place so much weight on everyday to be more extraordinary than the last that they forget to actually live and let the life they hold so dear drift away. I have never jumped on that bandwagon. Life is full of chaos and disaster; a veritable roller-coaster shit storm. Death however, is an inescapable certainty; a guarantee waiting patiently to wrap us in its arms when the time is right. I take great comfort that at the end of all things Death will come to greet me will calm in the wake of Life’s madness.